As two NBA basketball referees walked through the countryside, they noticed some tracks. First said, 'Deer tracks?' Second said 'No, bear tracks.' However, the conversation ended abruptly when a train hit them.

How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans!

I can remember the old days of basketball when they shot the ball up at the basket, not down into it.

Q: Why couldn't the athlete listen to his music? A: Because he broke a record!

They're a team in transition. They're going from bad to worse.

Q: What's a cheerleader's favorite color? A: Yeller!

Q: Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A: Because they dribble all over the court.

Q: Why do basketball players love cookies? A: Because they can dunk them!

Q: Why did the basketball player go to jail? A: Because he shot the ball!

Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

Q: What do basketball players and babies have in common? A: They both dribble!

Submitted by:
Barry Arcant
Legal Resources - Legal Services

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.

"The sharks got 'em."

Submitted by:
George Snedrow
Free People Finder Directories

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.

Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea."

The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband "Hey, where's your ball?"

"It's over here in the pussy willows."

The wife screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!!"

A true story, according to the LA Times.....

Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"

Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"