A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.

Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.

The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said,"You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!

So, how did you break your leg?"

Three men went out to play a round of golf, Moses, Jesus and an old man. Moses tee'd off first, and the ball landed in the water. He parted the water, and hit the ball in for a birdie.

Jesus tee'd off next, and the ball landed in the water. He then walked on the water, and hit the ball in for a birdie.

Lastly the old man tee'd off, but before the ball could hit the water, a fish jumped out and caught the ball in it's mouth. Then an eagle swooped down and caught the fish. Lightening then struck near the eagle, frightening it, and it dropped the fish. When the fish hit the ground, it dropped the ball in for a perfect hole in one.

Jesus and Moses turn to the old man, and Jesus said, "Dad, if you don't quit playing like that, we're not going to bring you anymore."

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go.
Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens.

He tries again. Still nothing.

He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail.

Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going UP!

Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"

The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

Teams were playing a match in a very competitive volleyball tournament one afternoon. Suddenly, Satan appeared in front of them right at the net. The players and fans started screaming and running for the gym exits, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the gym except for one confident looking guy named Keith who sat calmly on the gym floor without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to Keith and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

Keith replied, "Yep, I sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, not at all." said Keith.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned Keith, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope," said Keith again.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

Keith looked Satan directly in the eye and calmly replied, "Because your bride has been playing power on my coed volleyball team all season and I feel like I've already been through H--l."

A young man working at the bowling alley with his father accidentally overturned a cart full of bowling balls. John at the snack bar looked over and saw the boy struggling to right the tipped cart.

"Hey Chris," the snack bar employee said. "Forget your troubles for a bit. It's late. Come over here and try some of these new jalapeno poppers and fries. I'll help you with that cart after you eat."

"That's mighty nice of you, but Pa won't like that," Chris replied.

"Aw, come on, take a break for a bit," the man at the snack bar insisted.

"Well, okay," the boy finally agreed. "But Pa won't like it."

After eating a few of the poppers with ranch dressing and a huge plate of golden french fries, Chris thanked the snack bar worker. "I feel a lot better now, but I just know that Pa will be upset."

"Nonsense," the cook said. "Where is your pa anyway"?

"Under the cart."