You know you watch too much tennis when you think about what every sport would be like with a racquet.


You know you watch too much tennis when you can impersonate every player.

You know you watch too much tennis when you can name top 100 players but can't remember your kids names.

You know you watch too much tennis when you keep track of every statistic of every player, and their ranking and ranking points but can't ace Statistics in school.

You know you watch too much tennis when you name your kids after pros.

You know you play too much tennis when you overhead smash your kid brother.

You know you play too much tennis when you call the line judge whenever there is an argument.

You know you play too much tennis when instead of fighting someone who stole your girlfriend; you challenge him to a pro-set match.

You know you play too much tennis when you are sitting on the court right now with a laptop reading this.

You know you watch too much tennis when you are taking an exam, and you are drawing out the draws to the next tournament.

You know you watch too much tennis when you break up with your girlfriend before every Grand Slam.

You know you watch too much tennis when you walk in late to class, and you ask the teacher to check shot spot to see if your foot was in the classroom when the bell rang.

You know you play too much tennis when you have an outfit for every racquet you own.

You know you play too much tennis when you hold your pencil with an eastern grip.

You know you watch too much tennis when you have the brand of your racquet stamped on everything you own.

You know you play too much tennis when you yell "C'mon" every time you ever succeed in the smallest task.

You know you play too much tennis when you have to hide all the racquets and balls from your wife or girlfriend.

You know you play too much tennis when you take out your anger on your wife or girlfriend, siblings, sons/daughters, grandparents, grandsons, nephews, cousins, niece, and anyone related to you that I forgot.

You know you play too much tennis when you talk to yourself aloud during a test to pump you up.

You know you watch too much tennis when you have the calendar marked for all the tournaments for the next 5 years.

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:

First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth Guy: "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday."

Submitted by:
Stuart Hill
Politics - Political Jokes Humor and Satire

An executive was ordered to take up a sport, by his doctor, so he decided to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the executive says. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'"

"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks. "Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You've got to be kidding!'"

Submitted by:
George Snedrow
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Three men, an American, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.

The American jumped off and shouted ''God save America !''

The English man jumped off and shouted ''God Save The Queen!''

The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted ''God save the person who I land on!''

Submitted by:
Dale Lenter
California Wineries Wines And Wine Tasting