You know you watch too much tennis when you think about what every sport would be like with a racquet.


You know you watch too much tennis when you can impersonate every player.

You know you watch too much tennis when you can name top 100 players but can't remember your kids names.

You know you watch too much tennis when you keep track of every statistic of every player, and their ranking and ranking points but can't ace Statistics in school.

You know you watch too much tennis when you name your kids after pros.

You know you play too much tennis when you overhead smash your kid brother.

You know you play too much tennis when you call the line judge whenever there is an argument.

You know you play too much tennis when instead of fighting someone who stole your girlfriend; you challenge him to a pro-set match.

You know you play too much tennis when you are sitting on the court right now with a laptop reading this.

You know you watch too much tennis when you are taking an exam, and you are drawing out the draws to the next tournament.

You know you watch too much tennis when you break up with your girlfriend before every Grand Slam.

You know you watch too much tennis when you walk in late to class, and you ask the teacher to check shot spot to see if your foot was in the classroom when the bell rang.

You know you play too much tennis when you have an outfit for every racquet you own.

You know you play too much tennis when you hold your pencil with an eastern grip.

You know you watch too much tennis when you have the brand of your racquet stamped on everything you own.

You know you play too much tennis when you yell "C'mon" every time you ever succeed in the smallest task.

You know you play too much tennis when you have to hide all the racquets and balls from your wife or girlfriend.

You know you play too much tennis when you take out your anger on your wife or girlfriend, siblings, sons/daughters, grandparents, grandsons, nephews, cousins, niece, and anyone related to you that I forgot.

You know you play too much tennis when you talk to yourself aloud during a test to pump you up.

You know you watch too much tennis when you have the calendar marked for all the tournaments for the next 5 years.

An executive was ordered to take up a sport, by his doctor, so he decided to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the executive says. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'"

"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks. "Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You've got to be kidding!'"

Submitted by:
George Snedrow
Are you searching for someone? Then check out Free Reverse Directories for reverse adress, phone, cell phone, email and internet domain name directories.

To err is human. To put the blame on someone else is doubles.

Q. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? A. See you round

A tennis player went to the doctor because he heard music whenever he played. The physician cured him by removing his head band.

You should never marry a tennis player, because to them love means nothing

Q. What is the definition of endless love? A. Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Q. What's a horse's favorite sport? A. Stable Tennis.

Q. Where do ghosts play tennis? A. On a tennis corpse!

Q. What is the difference between the men's final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance? A. The tennis final has more men.

Featured by Resources For Attorneys, a Legal Resources and Lifestyle Resources portal.

Find links to your favorite sports team at the sports teams guide.

Want more laughs? Check out our Jokes index.

A married couple go to hospital together to have their baby delivered. When they arrive, the doctor says they have just taken delivery of a new machine which transfers a portion of the mother's pain to the father.

"Would you be willing to try it out?" asks the doctor.
"Yes of course," says the husband, who is very much a Sensitive New Age Guy.

As the woman goes into labour, the doctor sets the machine to 10 per cent and asks the man if it hurts. "No, it's fine," he says. The doctor raises the setting to 20 per cent. "Still okay," says the man. The doctor gradually lifts the setting to 50 per cent. The husband closes his eyes and grits his teeth, but insists he can cope without any problem, so the doctor raises it gradually to 75 per cent.

"I can take it," says the husband. "Give me the full 100 per cent." So the doctor does, and the wife bears the baby with no pain at all.

The doctor goes off to write up the case for The Medical Journal, while the couple take their baby home. On the doorstep they find the wife's tennis coach dead.

Featured by Resources For Attorneys, a Legal Services and Lifestyle Information resources directory.

Find links to your favorite sports team at the sports teams guide.

Want more laughs? Check out our Jokes index.