A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?

The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father repied. "Don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."

You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because
you think it makes a good air freshener.

Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat.

You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter".

Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.

You keep a flippin stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.

You name your dog "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".

You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp.

You have a photo of your 10 lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family.

You consider viennies and crackers a complete meal.

You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.

You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a palomar knot.

You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting.

Your $30,000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house.

You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat will fit in the garage.

Your kids know it's Saturday---Because the boats gone.

Doreen's husband Matt died suddenly one day. Doreen was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Matt's obituary to read.

Doreen asked the undertaker, "How much does an obituary cost?"

The undertaker replied, "One dollar per word."

Doreen then said, "I want the obituary to read - MATT IS DEAD."

The undertaker was an old fishing buddy of Matt's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, "I'll make you a special deal since I knew Matt so well. I'll pay for half of the obituary out of my own pocket."

Doreen's face lit up and she replied, "Great. I want it to read - MATT IS DEAD, BOAT FOR SALE."

Bud had a very bad day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single fish. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"But why?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."

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